10 Clues That Suggests You Vacationed At A Swingers' Resort

Just came back from vacation and had the time of your lives but do not want to share all the details with anyone? Well, don’t worry, we know exactly where you vacationed, and we promise not to tell anyone. You might be wondering exactly how we found out… Because you are guilty of one or a few of these 10 signs.

1. You have No Tan Lines

Swingers vacations and nude beaches go hand in hand. Swingers like to party naked, and if you were just on vacation and you are back home with no tan lines, you are either a nudist or a swinger or both. Either way, ladies if we cannot find any tan lines anywhere on your upper body, there is a good chance you were at a swingers resort.

2. You Went To Negril Jamaica

Negril Jamaica is one of the most popular tourist destinations in the Caribbean. It is also home to several nude resorts including the most famous swingers party resort in the world, Hedonism II. If you tell your friends that you were on vacation in Negril, do not be surprised if the assume you stayed at Hedonism II.

3. You Hardly Have Any Pictures To Show

Who goes on vacation for a week and come back with only one fully dressed picture taken at the front of the resort? Swingers! That picture was not even taken at the hotel you stayed; it was taken at the resort next door. You can be selfish and not share, but we know exactly where you were.

4. You Travel To The Same Hotel At The Same Time Every Year

There are hundreds of beautiful destinations to see and thousands of different resorts and experiences to enjoy. So what is it that keeps you going back to Jamaica and Mexico the same time every year? Let me guess… Perhaps a group of lifestyle friends you meet up with every year at Hedo or Desire? I could be wrong but $100 I am right.

5. You Hardly Told Anyone You Were Going On Vacation

You told work it was a family matter (Good luck explaining the tan), your best friends had no clue, what’s the secret? No need to tell, we think we know the answer. If you are booked to go on a vacation, and you are not sharing it with the world, you probably do not want anyone to know where you are going. 

6. You Are Very Vague When People Ask About Your Trip

When you go on a vacation, you are always excited to come back and share the experience with friends and family. Unless the experiences that you had you do not want them to know about. So when they ask, you answers never go past 3 words, and you quickly try to change the subject. Busted!

7. You Did Not Bring The Kids

Adult’s Only Resorts do not allow children, neither does Clothing Optional Resorts that cater to lifestylers. There may be a lot of adults at these resorts acting like kids, but I promise you they are at least 18 years old. When mommy and daddy want to be naughty and act like kids, the kids are not allowed.

8. You Packed Way Too Much Or Way Too Little

If you are going on a 7-day vacation and you both only have a carry-on, they that is very likely because you are going somewhere where you will be naked most of the time. If you are going on a 7-day vacation and you are checking 4 pieces of luggage for 2 people, it is probably because one suitcase is filled with sex toys, the other with costumes, one with stripper shoes for the wife and the other for necessities.

9. You Look Really Tired After Your Trip

Wait, don’t tell. Let me guess. Did you go to a 4-day music festival? No? Ok… You went to a swingers resort with a party group that had you partying in the nude pool all day and staying up late at night in the playroom after the customer party. Those are the only too reasons you should be tired after a 7-day vacation.

10. You Seem Overly Happy

Must have been a really good vacation, Why are you so happy?… Life changing perhaps? Your sex life was re-ignited? Met some really great people? Slept with someone half your age, so you are feeling really sexy and attractive? Yes? No need to say anything more.